word son, moles.

i leave in 5 days
fuckin word em up son
stoked on that
not too stoked on the blemish on the right hand side of my chin, which is actually a MOLE

moles. word. thats pretty hot.

i paid 20 bucks for that dermatology lady to tell me its a mole? im like, yo can you get rid of that shit? and she was like, nah son, i cant. its gonna leave a scar. you dont want that, trust me.

i was like sweet. moles. moles sweet moles.

shameless killing of innocent bugz.

now its smashed on the computer screen

fuck.




i saw a bird of prey with a dead squirrel in its mouth today

AND

i almost stepped on another dead squirrel (ROadKill) while running as fast as i could in the rain through suburban wasteland



i cant breathe here

ive cried like 40 times today

what the fuck
not sure why


im all itchy

i left the city like 2 days ago and im having withdrawl and im moving to france in like 12 days and im nervous


fuck

fuck

i cant sleep here
i hate parents house
no friends here
so fuckin tired

i dont get it




i did go to the diner today and had like 14 cups of coffee for $1.33. that was pretty sick

lyrics

hide and seek

where are we?
what the hell is going on
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines oh, you won't catch me around here
blood and tears hearts
they were here first

Mmmm whacha say
Mmmm that you only meant well..
well of course you did
Mmmm whacha say
Mmmm that its all for the best
of course it is
Mmmm whacha say
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
Mmmm whacha say
Mmmm what did she say

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no i don't believe you
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit

hide and seek
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs

hide and seek
speak no feeling no
i don't believe you
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit

hide and seek
oh no
you don't care a bit
oh no
you don't care a bit

hide and seek
oh no
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit

big love

ps- that show is..... uh, kinda good.

i think i figured it out

man, my escape from suburban wasteland was desperately needed. like, bad. i guess i didnt even know how bad i needed urban life..... and the lack of it, like, kind of fucks me up... since i got back from france and greece ive stayed here (suburbia, phila) (good choice) (instead of the city) ((nice choice)) cause i thought it'd be the best way to save money...? uuuuuuh lame.. but yeah i went back to the city for the past few days........ and um hi. what the fuck happened while i was gone? place is jumpin off. im hyped on the music scene right now.......... its also summer.... but mostly it was good to be with kash. we went to phoebe's... we drank a LOT(yikes) we danced a lot.......and like, talked about boys and shit. word. boys.

html. how the fuck do you work?

i dont get it.
all my pictures are cut off.
HTML, try not to be so cool and deal with me!
god damn!

14 year-olds foreva

i miss my friends


i miss rock



i miss kash



i MISS ALEXIS





oh my god i miss alexis







i miss skating with my friends




but mostly i just miss being a 14 yearold with alexis

meteor showers? my ASS!!!!

i saw one comet tonight. what a bust. i saw like, 1 and a half comets last night. outside on the deck with my dad. i wanted to smoke a butt out there watching the stars with him, but of course i couldnt. he'd flip.

it was kind of wierd, and i just think that sucks, that it felt wierd to spend time with my dad... just watching the sky. my parents are pissed off cause they think i am wasting my education and fucking up my career by going off to play with alexis in france. this decision directly affects them as i need assistance with VISAs and temporary living situations in between VISAs. (at THEIR house). okay, got it. not wanted here. i understand. seriously! i get it! i wont come back here, point taken.

but eventually i'll figure out whether or not im staying in Europe with Georgious, or.......... not.......... and will have to come back to America and figure it out all over again. i want to be with him, i want to make a family with him. i want a dog named meemer and i want to make him happy forever. i could do it, i know it. but if it falls apart........i guess ill start over somewhere else.

big deal? no big deal? i dont know. i guess starting over is kind of a big deal. but its not like i dont realize that. so why cant they get off my dick and let me realize my own decisions create my future and just be supportive as opposed to negative, condescending and resentful. ok, let's break that down:

negative = things arent going to work out for me in europe / with alexis. will get too hard. I'll give up. no money.... tough life, no friends no family. fair enough.

condescending = oh sure amy, you can just come back to work in new york, what are you going to do? leech off of us for another month while you figure out a new job?

resentful = just come home, amy, you can live and work here while you figure things out........................ oh wait, fuck. shit. amy's home. we dont want her here. she's a burden and dependent. fuck. shit. now what do we do. let's just be assholes and tell her that she sucks.

well, yeah. obviously i suck and i'm lazy. got it.

never coming back here again............

blargh. i dont know really. i guess thats what blogs are for. i kind of feel like an idiot blogging away here in suburbia but i also cleaned my grandmom's hosue today, watered the flowers in the yard, took a walk around the neighborhood after dinner by myself and went to the post office today. i mean, what else am i supposed to do. FUCK!

LOSER~!

smash, im turning into an alcoholic here and they hid the STOLI orange from me. so i drank mandarin absolut instead. trying to get to the city this weekend to return to some urban normalcy ragin like im used to. BATTLE OF THE CONSULATE PART 2 tomorrow. put ya fuckin seatbelts on.

oh worrrd?

so this new job im workin
.........restaurant, fine dining status.... kitchens are fuckin gross. i see rolls dropped on the floor and put back in baskets......... i see chefs using bare hands on like everything
old people suck

oh yeah, ps- The chefs HATE me! im like, um, ok. can i get my veal marsala now? (Gross.)
but im pretty sure they hate everyone
theyre sloppy and gross

so are the dishwashers
they call me baby
i hate that

sometimes i wanna kill everyone

over it

over it








over it







over it



over it







over it

i miss kash

shes my best friend



blogs are gay

im addicted to gayness

i fuckin love it

baileys is gross

but i fuckin love that too

cigarettes are gross

love em

food is gross
(give it to me)

poetry is gay
especially mine





thats kash
shes cool

she doesnt even know how fuckin cool she is

baileys

dinner = 1 vodka gimlet
extra lime

dessert = 2 glasses of baileys on ice

i feel grossss i miss my boyfriend i feel like there is too much sugar and alcohol on my teeth
and my tongue
that shit is whack
myspace is whack
im totally addicted
i hate the train
i hate my face

im sick of being at home

im over my medical bills
big time

i love that saying dont give i shit
cuase i totally do
but i dont give a shit
oh wait
hold on
i totally do

fucking hell meng

bad days are such a drag