i recently joined equinox where i am reminded of my elite new york city status and success everytime i work out.
The moment i walk in my personal life fitness mentor rushes over to spray me with eucalyptus water.
they lay me down and help me take off my armani business attire. i am changed into state of the art performance-driven exercise apparel.
working out is so sexy. when i do spin class someone is actually peddling me through unheard of european cobblestone streets. i don't even sweat.
i look like this now.
i get driven around in really fast cars with my legs hanging out the window.
i had a baby. he's a genius.
i moved into a new apartment. it came with 24-hour on-site camera crew to document my progress in strength, endurance and agility.
i hang out with models. we make cakes and arm-wrestle every thursday evening in the study.